Coffee at the right! A new cup! Reads “Hello Sring!” The color is very pleasing to the senses too. A soft turquoise with the bottom a soft gray. I have this same turquoise in my appliances. After Tom died I changed the appliances, this gave me new memories of my kitchen. It reminded me of “Now it’s time for a new path forward.” I found this a simple view of how my life was changing. It certainly has.
I wanted to influence that change. My approach has worked for me. I have not talked with many other women or men who have lost their loved ones. My experience seems to be different. I think taking that year to reflect, I allowed myself to feel my feelings, and I took the time to come into being present with myself. This made a big difference. I think how I remembered Thomas had a big part in the outcome too. Reflecting on how loving our relationship had been. How his support and nurturing had brought me to the point I am at. I was very well-loved.
I will always miss Thomas. But he was a big part of my life, a very special time. Yes. I wish it had been for a lot longer. It hurts because there was this great wonderful love between us! This is how I should feel. But there is a place for it, in my heart where I can take care of it tenderly and still go on with my own life.
I am thinking of these things as I prepare for yet another new path. Thoughts of moving so to be closer to my daughter and her family. This will be a very good thing. It will mean leaving this home. I am ok inside about that.