Good Morning Sunshine! Thinking about blaming some more!

I believe it questions give us answers. Is blame a learned behavior? I feel it is, as small children we learn to observe the people around us, all age groups! Parents, grandparents, siblings, and other children, teens. And all of them have done the same thing as we have. They have observed others as they talk to one another and with us. We learned what is accepted. And if people are observed blaming then it seems acceptable to do that behavior. It is when we learn how to decern our words and actions, and those of other human beings that we assign a value to what is right or wrong. We add up the pros and cons of that is right to develop our bottom line, and what we stand for so we can set boundaries. When we blame we feel we are defending our boundaries. We do not always think about what we are really responsible for. Consciousness is something we develop over time. It is defining of who we want to be.

Our moods stem from how we feel. It really matters how we feel. How we feel is a choice, however. We don’t have to be right all the time. Is this a reason we blame someone? Likely, this means we are in defense mode. We are stacking up the cons in our favor. The question needs to be why? If we let things roll off and do not respond to them we would be happier. Let the other person own those words and actions, let them find their own means of change. Sure you can always respond to something but how important is it? Do you make your or I statements? What makes someone else really hear you if you do choose to say something? And if you do and they respond____do you have to respond back? This is where the blame game often begins.

There is something called blame-acceptance. And it’s easy to fall into it as a way of being. We rationalize the situation. Someone should have done this or that or not done this or that! Can’t they use their brains (justifying the thought.) We accept it’s okay to blame. After all, everyone else does?

The blame game is a choice we can choose. Getting caught up in blame does not lead to happiness. It eats up our time. We fail to forgive ourselves or others when they get caught up in their own feelings and thoughts. Meanwhile, the whole body is responding to the negative and there we are unhappy.

Letting go can also be a habit we do by making it a choice. Letting others come to their own conclusions about who they are is better. Just because we think they will not or can not change, does not make it so. We are on a learning curve! All of us are! And we will continue to make mistakes.

I would love input on what you think.

Best wishes! Pejj Nunes

By Pejj Nunes

I live in Southern Maine. I am the owner of Anisette Studios. My website is Here you can view and purchase Shibui, sign up for my newsletters, blog, and read articles about Shibui Found Image Art. Patrons get great deals several times a year and special items at times. My site makes it easy to contact me. My primary art form is Shibui Found Image Art. Shibui begins with action art and stems from the imagination. It is like seeing something in the clouds or solving a puzzle. Its creative process has its own rules and requires what I call reverse engineering due to a lack of an understructure and purely out of the imagination. In addition to those who patron me, my target groups are those who use art therapy. I will soon be teaching live. Contact me if you would like to learn live. I use Zoom. I request that although my art, other images, and what I write is now published by me here on WordPress; I do ask you do not to use my artwork, poetry, or the information about Shibui Found Image Art without my permission. I am quite available to make such requests. I wish to share the following: The existentialist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir wrote a book called The Ethics of Ambiguity. In it, she lays out a guiding ethic in response to the philosophy of existentialism. It might be somewhat familiar to you already. She writes, “To will oneself free is also to will others free. This will is not an abstract formula. It points out to each person concrete action to be achieved.” Best wishes to all! Have good times and keep safe! Pejj

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