How it is now.
You came into my life, I let you in. You let me in! Willing, passionate love, warm embraces. Yours! Mine! No other shall claim these hearts. It is ever more and happiness, it is bliss! So, we claimed. And now? What is this? I am to mourn your loss, I grieve, tears come. There is no you to encompass me now. Nada. My heart is broken, so I made room for sorrow. I hold it together tenderly, with care and longing. This is not evermore, nor forever and a day!
What it is, is an overwhelming loss of you! My dearest love. It is such great sadness that runs so very deep; unhealing. Always there. It takes my breath away! Numbing me. To be here without you? I don’t want to think of that. The only way__is to cry, to grieve, to feel this___. My body is such a heavy weight out of the blue. This comes and goes. Then I check myself and feel ok. I do good! “I got this! Ya! Right! ___Broadsided, missing you. I am told “this” is how it will always be. That “it” softens. I hope that is true, that that is right! How else does one survive? Life goes on without you. Crying then becomes ok. The hope is in what others have done, they move on.
They seem ok. They still cry and grieve while being loved.
Loved again? Again___I can’t imagine this. But being alone____.
That hurts too much. I am grateful for the belief, that the heart is like a castle with many rooms, to hold love in. We said, “Until death we do part.” How stark those words seem.