Thoughts that rattle around in my head.
I think about why poets write, and writers write. For me, it is out of a desire to share thoughts, that others can identify with and not feel so alone with any particular thought. I seem to be a philosopher. It is not that I feel I am wiser or know more. Because I would love a response to my ideas and a response to the ideas I pass on I have come to love! I feel the world needs to become more open. And we are not as we feel such need to protect ourselves, and this is more than a reasonable thing to do these days. I thought about this too, so what we can do is have good friends, and build a community of those we can trust, have respect for, believe in, and love. I often think of these words. I strongly feel we do not have love for others if we do not find these in the mix of the relationships we have. These relationships need tending. Then, this leads me to think about how complex we are, and therefore how complex the world is. I think of how we must take care of who we are in the mix of all else we do.
I think of how if I don’t get back to home base with me, I am not in good shape to be there for others. That if I try to carry on as normal, and listen, being there for others, etc. I know I put myself on the back burner. I so love others who are important to me! But I add to my to-do list then, and it is not manageable, and it becomes overwhelming. It took me a long time to realize this. Being the caregiver to Thomas___I felt I was simply loving him by meeting his needs, I did not think of the role of caregiver itself. I took care of Tom’s parents___I have helped people and been so glad to do so, it feels great but it changes your home base, and the attention given is divided. Thank goodness Thomas and I understood this role and took it on together as a team. So, take care of yourself so the foundation of you is solid. People may or may not understand this until and if they come to that point themselves. You don’t have to apologize, offer an explanation once you come to that understanding and let it be. Often people get this no matter if their emotional side does not. I have been an over-thinker, sensitive to others, and put them first. I finally got past the impulsive nature of this. It’s not easy if you care but it would be complex and hard if you simply do not step back to home base.