“Life itself, life itself lives on.” Leonard Cohen
“Life is so much like painting a picture, some only get the outline sketched while others find time and desire to mix the beautiful colors on the canvas. Some paint their lives with somber colors, dark and drab and have no highlights, Others find cheerful colors, the shade of golden sunlight, red tulips, and purple crocus.___The Master Artist gave us all pallets with lots of bright colors to use boldly or to mix in subtle but lively shades of happiness. We are given an outline of life, but it is up to us to fill in the colors, harmonizing and blending the many tones that enliven and enrich” Joyce Hifler strikes again! I do believe this! Today I learned a new word that fits me, I did not know this word, but I am grateful to learn it! The word is ambivert. It happens I am ambidextrous, LOL. My father was. On rare occasions, I will suddenly do something with my left out of the blue and it feels natural to me. When doing work-study my UMA boss had me do large mailings, she came by to speak to me, and asked me out of the blue, “How do you do that?” I apparently was using both hands at the same time. But anyway, I love Hifler’s pearls of wisdom. I pick the book up and open it, and look for what is on that page.
Hifler continued. “Many years ago, my mother gave me a poem by an anonymous poet that meant so much to here and as time passed I saw the wisdom in it.” (Not unlike my finding To be A Good Friend, that to was by Atmos, or other words anonymous.) The poem Hifler passes on reads, “It’s what you THINK that makes the world seem dull or bright to you___your mind may color all things gray or make them radiant hue___Be glad today, be true and wise___seek gold among the dross___Waste neither time nor thought about___the bridge you’ll never cross!___We make things so hard by thinking we cannot cope with them. (This is what I did not want regarding Thomas.) We cross bridges that have never existed and painted unhappy pictures in our minds, And so it is what we think that makes the world dull or bright, and it is up to us to change the channel to something better.”
Understanding and believing this is important. Stacking up pros and cons about the argument that it is true or or faults or a third option; that it has some other possibilities is fruitless, To do that is to stay in the state of the dull world. It also seems to be that when we go into where we are, our home base if you will. This space is for us, and no one else needs to be in there with us. It is likely to worry about others feeling excluded, mainly our friends, people we love who worry about us or whom we ourselves do worry over. But we do need to take care of ourselves, and so do they. And they need to let things be ok between you, and simply know you need this time to come to your own conclusions and change. If change is to be lasting and real, you need to get to the heart of the matter without being sidetracked and pulled in to many directions. Your no good to help anyone else if your not stable in what keeps your balance.
A long time ago now someone said to me, and I was quite shocked! My best friend DJ. She said, “You need to be more selfish!” My reaction? “But I am not a selfish person!” She said, “The meaning of being selfish is much more than what you think. It is about taking care of who you are. That needs to matter most.” I should ask her if she remembers this. She may have been the one that said, “What do you want on your tombstone? She kept a clean house! Or do you want it to say, She was an artist, poet, writer, who loved to help others with her art and writing!” Well, that really hit me, and so I stopped making my house be perfect. This and my baby at the time. I was picking up her toys if she did not play with them! Rather let her have them as choices. I was shocked to see myself, and said, “What am I doing! I need to change this behavior! OMG! And I felt terrible. I know why I wanted the house to be perfect. It was because my childhood home was not. However, I did believe with all my heart that my child and children came first. Even if they did not believe that at times. You do many things as a parent that are not realized. The most important thing is to be all you can be for them to notice!