Self doubt would only have me totally knackered, spent from over thinking which incapacitates the mind, body and spirit. Just a temporary hint of that seems scary because of the experience earlier in life. I never want to be in that position again! It took a while to get to where I am in a very good place. I have too much I want to do without feeling bogged down! This is the reason I stepped back to be in touch with myself. To me it means to become that way is to give up without a fight that’s just not me! I do think about how to for forward in my battles with the world at large. That is part of being a philosopher. Letting go of a dream which would crush my belief in myself is unthinkable despite being human.
I have been an observer of life and people for so long. Deep curiosity of why we do what we do as individuals, couples, groups, and whole societies.
Life is interesting, and it is good despite all that happens around us. We can not control everything, we can not do everything___but what ever we do, do___We will affect others. We can use our creative processes to create forms of art which will convey not just our feelings. We can develop new ideas. We can write down what we think of, and likely say something as another might feel or say it. It is important to know we are not alone with how we feel or in what we think. Our social behavior is one where we need others. We don’t want to be just like someone else, but be who we are. The think is we evolve and constantly change as we see the need to change. Life is indeed a learning curve.
These thoughts, beliefs have not changed since Tom’s death. In fact they were build upon with his own ideas. What can I do with what I think about, rather than have it all become tautological. It’s all good fodder for writing. Write what you know is the aphorism. It is also trusting in the fact I am not alone with my views on life, nor is anyone else!